Economy or First-Class? What would Jesus do?

Am I the only person to be disturbed and bewildered that the organisers of the Catholic event World Youth Day are flying the decomposing body of a saint-in-waiting, who died in 1925, from Turin to Sydney specifically for the event? I quote, "While the logistics of the complex journey are still to be finalised, it will be the first time Blessed Pier Giorgio has been moved from Turin since his death in July, 1925." I think that is because it usual to leave people buried....

In the article Bishop Anthony Fisher, drooling into traditionally ominous territory for a man of the cloth, can barely contain his fervent appreciation for the "youthful good looks, charm" and "fun loving nature" of Pier claiming such qualities make him the "perfect inspiration for young people." I presume the organisers do not expect Pier to display any of these traits downunder in his role as World Youth Day patron.

"Gosh he looks awfully jet-lagged..."

Another of the World Youth Day patrons is Blessed Peter To Rot. If only they would let poor Blessed Pier do just that...

Stating the obvious

A sign in a lift at 101 Grenfell Street informed me today to "Please exit when doors open."
Was there another option really?

Who you gonna SMS? Insurance scam busters!

When I read news stories about locals and their ill-conceived attempts to engage in insurance fraud a little smile creeps across my face because I realise that no matter what I do today, however silly, I am clearly not the biggest idiot in my city. That title has already been claimed by the man who claimed his car was stolen and subsequently driven into a Stobie pole. However the police found his mobile phone in the car replete with a recently sent text message asking an accomplice to come and collect him from where he had just deliberately crashed his car.... Priceless.

Soft-bellied invertebrates

I work for a very ecologically aware and sustainability conscious division of my department. Proof of this is the fact that at a recent staff meeting, when discussing 'greening' issues, staff members debated the relative merits and viability of installing a worm farm to house and re-use our kitchen scraps. Before this discussion began I had, unsurprisingly and quite characteristically, vagued out of the meeting and occupied my mind by gazing at the panoramic cityscape from the Boardroom window. Therefore, when I refocused on the meeting I initially struggled to appreciate why one of my colleagues was asking me;

"So David how should we handle worms in the office?"

....My mind raced....I did not know... With gloves? But why? I had not been thinking of handling worms in the office.... Should I have been? Worms? Why worms? - What did elongated soft-bodied invertebrates have to do with my job implementing government policy? Worms? What type of worms? My mind turned unwillingly to memories of shameful juvenile itches - Worms? Parasitic Worms? Our office has worms? And they want my response? Surely it's obvious. My response would be Tablets. Pills. Drugs for everybody!Eradicate them!! But how? Can you buy them over the counter? Do you need a prescription? I'm not going the chemist! This is ludicrous. I looked around the office - So who has them? Someone has got worms. Then I noticed all the staff members were looking at me, awaiting my answer or perhaps accusing me....Oh No... Did they think I had worms? Did they all gather in the kitchen and say, "Look guys, one of us has to bring it up in the meeting - I know its tough - but the guy's got worms and we're going to have to tell him. It's an OH & S thing..." I wanted to yell 'I don't have worms!'

A colleague then said, "I have them at home. At first I was worried the dogs might play with them but they don't even know they're there."
Another colleague, "I used to have them, I think I killed them and I'm so annoyed about it. Really think I should get some more."
And another colleague breaking into a laugh said, "My husband knows how much I wanted them that he gave them to me as part of my birthday present would you believe!"
My face went white, my jaw dropped. These people are mad!
The worm-as-birthday-gift woman then said, "They've got worms downstairs on Level 3."
The repentant worm murderer said, "They've had them for years."
'For years!' I thought?
..... Typical government inaction!!

Perhaps he could do us all a favour and save his voice for marriage too....

Amusingly bawdy News.com.au headline - Idol star Dean Geyer's still a virgin ... but it's hard.
Sure I am lowering the tone of the blog....but it is worth a schoolboy giggle or two...