Do you remember where you were the day that thing didn’t happen?

I received a generic mass email at work today informing me that the new Minister of our department would be visiting our floor within the hour. The email said the Chief Executive will guide the Minister around the floor and introduce him to important people. The email also contained this request “Can we please ensure that our working areas are tidy for this visit” which managed to be patronising, maternal and unnecessary all at once.

My colleagues greeted the news of this walk-and-talk with the sort of excitement and enthusiasm one would expect from a monarchist housewife who had just been told the Queen was about to visit for afternoon tea and was it alright if she brought along that lovely cravat wearing host from Masterchef as well. Desks were tidied, nerves were jangled, rarely sighted ‘intelligent and industrious’ poses were rehearsed and lipstick was reapplied.

As the Minister’s arrival time drew near, my colleagues pretended to look busy, whilst intently listening for the ’ping’ noise of the elevator which heralds the arrival of someone to the floor, today the Minister, but usually a bicycle courier.

Five minutes after his arrival time had passed rumours spread around the office, “The Minister is NOT coming” followed by, “Something urgent has come up” and then finally, “Well if he is going to come, I wish he’d hurry up!” (That ‘intelligent and industrious’ pose is exhausting to maintain afterall…)

And then an email arrived in our Inboxes informing us that the Minister would not be coming. No explanation was provided, that common courtesy deemed not to be required. As the email was read, sighs of relief and disappointment echoed throughout the office. Within a minute office life returned to normal… It was as though it had never happened. Which is true, I guess, because in the end it didn’t.

05 July 2010: Deja vu. Last week I received an email saying the Minister was visiting. Today I received another email cancelling the visit.

12 July 2010: Deja vu vu. Today I received another email announcing a visit by the Minister followed by an email cancelling that visit. Unbelievable!

Song of the Week time.

I am feeling absurdly happy (‘absurdly’ because there is no real reason for this. I am at work when I could be in Paris watching tennis, drinking champagne, debonairly ensconced in Prada and elegantly laughing at witty bon mots with minor European royalty. But I am not). But I digress. I am happy, therefore this week’s song is buoyant, fluffy, fruity, fun, bubbly and joyful. I defy you to listen to his and not smile a little.


The song is the 1960’s glee-filled pop classic…

Sunshine Lollipops and Rainbows
by Lesley Gore

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E_v468ptuXw

Sunshine, lollipops and rainbows,
Everything that's wonderful is what I feel when we're together,
Brighter than a lucky penny,
When you're near the rain cloud disappears, dear,
And I feel so fine just to know that you are mine.

My life is sunshine, lollipops and rainbows,
That's how this refrain goes, so come on, join in everybody!
Sunshine, lollipops and rainbows,
Everything that's wonderful is sure to come your way
When you're in love to stay.

Sunshine, lollipops and rainbows,
Everything that's wonderful is what I feel when we're together,
Brighter than a lucky penny,
When you're near the rain cloud disappears, dear,
And I feel so fine just to know that you are mine.
My life is sunshine, lollipops and rainbows,
That's how this refrain goes, so come on, join in everybody!
Sunshine, lollipops and rainbows,
Everything that's wonderful is sure to come your way
'Cause you're in love, you're in love,
And love is here to stay!

Random facts:

· "Sunshine, Lollipops, and Rainbows" was used in the Simpsons episode Marge on the Lam, and is currently being used by the Red Spot Boutique’s homewares TV advertisement in 2010.

· Lesley Gore is a lesbian.

· Her most famous song was “It’s My Party (And I Will Cry If I Want To) which was #1 and nominated for a Grammy (in the Rock'n'Roll category, which seems odd in these post-heavy metal days)

· She was nominated for an Oscar for a song she wrote for Irene Cara in the film Fame.

· David wishes he could get paid to do this stuff…

ABC! It's as easy as 1, 4, 3.

A senior colleague sent me a Minute requesting legal advice using the following paragraph numbering sequence:

3.2

3.3

3.3.1
3.2.1
3.3.2
3.4.1

3.4

3.4.1

3.5

-----

Inaccurate, if not inventive.

Surely this person knows that 3.3.1 should be followed by 3.3.2 which in turn should be followed by 3.3.3. Also, if there is not a 3.4.2 then there is no need for a 3.4.1. It is hardly rocket mathematics.

In the same Minute it was requested that I provide my advice within the next moth, which might be quite difficult to achieve, but then again, at least I was not given a date to complete this by…



Anyway I cannot sit here blogging all day – I need to try and trap that all important ‘next moth’.

This sentence is rooted

When reading an arborist's report on the health of some local trees this sentence stood out:

There are a total of 197 individual trees identified within the audit, along with 11 further trees which had been removed some time in the past.

as opposed to those trees that had been removed some time in the future...

That’s the way the cookie crumbles…

This morning I witnessed the least successful attempt to dissect a Scotch Finger biscuit ever. It was an ‘epic fail’. A pack of Arnott’s Assorted Biscuits was on the table during a meeting. A new colleague, on only his third day of work, selected a Scotch Finger biscuit and attempted to snap apart the conjoined ‘fingers’, as required by biscuit eating convention. Somehow, he managed to decimate the biscuit, scattering crumbs all over his suit pants, the desk and the carpeted floor leaving barely a stump of biscuit remaining, let alone the two majestic and moreish ‘fingers’ he was aiming for.

I think we should have fired him immediately.

Don't crumb Monday!