Miss Attach

I wish Microsoft Outlook could prevent me from sending an email when I have stated that I am attaching a file and, as usual, I have forgotten to attach a file. Perhaps any email that includes any of the words "attach" "attached" "attaching" or "attachment" could require a file to be attached before it could be sent, unless the user selects 'ignore.'

I think it would make the world a better place.

OK. Now I have solved that issue I think I am primed to tackle the Middle East Crisis and then World Peace. I think I have more chance than this poor chickadee...

Oh what a feelin' ...

Alec: So you know how I went home with Dragonfly the other night…
Eton: You went upstairs for coffee huh?
Alec: Yeah something like that. Well anyway when I got back to my car I had a flat tyre.
Eton: aww bummer
Alec: Bummer indeed. Cost me $150 and I had to change a tyre!
Eton: So have you seen this Bumblee..
Alec: It’s Dragonfly, The nickname is Dragonfly.
Eton: OK so have you seen Dragonthingy again?
Alec: Well, this is the thing - I met up with Dragonfly again and after I dropped him off I got a speeding fine within 2 blocks of his place.
Eton: Nasty - how much was it?
Alec: 200 bucks
Eton: So what you are telling me is that you are down over 350 dollars for two sessions with this guy.
Alec: Yep
Eton: Was it worth it?
Alec: Well now I am not so sure…
Eton: You going to see him again?
Alec: I am not sure I can afford to…

************************

Alec: So anyway I think this must be some higher being's way of telling me to stop sleeping with Dragonfly
Eton: God? You think God cares about who you are tapping?
Alec: Well I dunno…
Eton: (thinking) Maybe it has nothing to do with Dragonfly… maybe God just wants you to stop driving your car so much…
Alec: Maybe… I once got a parking fine when I stayed the night at some random’s place…
Eton: See. There you go.
Alec: And once I had my aerial broken…
Eton: (smiling) God wants you to cut your emissions…
Alec: Funny.
Eton: Carbon neutral carnality perhaps…Environmentally Friendly Fornication…
Alec: OK enough already!
Eton: So what you going to do?
Alec: I don’t know… ride a bike…
Eton: It will probably get stolen, or you’ll get a flat…ha ha
Alec: So what can I do?
Eton: Walk. I think that’s your only way to beat this thing…
Alec: So no more Dragonfly?
Eton: I think it’s jinxed…
Alec: Hmmm. Well I sure hope there are some good looking guys within walking distance….
Eton: That’s the spirit.

That's so Emo...

I do not like it when people use the phrase “That’s so gay” when referring to something that they don't like. I usually respond to the person by agreeing with them but including their own particular minority or identifying feature.

For example, “yeah I agree - That’s so Indian” or “Yeah it’s completely Greek, isn’t it?”

or perhaps, “OMG It’s totally vegetarian.”


If someone wants to say that something is lame then maybe they should subsitute gay for something that actually is lame.

eg, “That’s so suburbia”
or "That's so abstinent"
or maybe, "That's so Local Government"
or "That's so LAN party."

However, below is a photodepicting an example of where I think it is not only appropriate but necessary to say, "That's so Gay"




I am not convinced that this article, written in 2000, accurately portrays the usage of the term, especially amongst non-homosexuals
http://archive.salon.com/people/feature/2000/09/14/gaygaygay/index.html

Silent Sitters

I am in the bathroom at work. There are two cubicles. One cubicle has the door closed, with the engaged sign in operation and the tips of a pair of black shoes visible under the door. The other cubicle’s door is open and the cubicle is unoccupied. I enter this cubicle, close the door and turn the lock. After a period of five, ten or twenty seconds the absence of noise from the cubicle next door deafens me. The usual symphony of shuffled feet, the unfurling and tearing of toilet paper and the frighteningly vivid sounds of liquid displacement are not emanating from the cubicle. It seems my neighbour is clearly a Silent Sitter or perhaps, more accurately, a Silent S*itter), waiting in the cubicle for me to finish my task so that they may continue their ablutions in seclusion and anonymity once I leave. Instead of continuing their chore they prefer to sit silent and still, with what can only be described as a front row seat for my upcoming performance. This riles me! In the same way that they may not want an audience (albeit an audience of one thoroughly self-focused, goal-oriented porcelain performer who could not care less about their business) I am not keen on the idea of a ghostly Silent Sitter perched on the edge of their Caroma attentively riding every shuffle, unzipping, evacuation, tearing, scrunching (or folding…) water-falling, zipping moment of activity as they wait, in earnest, for me to leave.

I am tempted to knock on the adjoining wall and say “You are not fooling anyone. I know you are in there!!

I am not sure what game these people are playing at. It is not a case of If a man sits in a toilet and no one is around to hear it does it make a sound?

Silent Sitters of the world! Let me tell you this - Your silence heralds your existence louder than ever!



"If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?"

Am I Decisive or Indecisive?

I just spent five minutes considering whether I should buy this book entitled '100 ways to be effective and decisive'...

Price of book: $25.00

Amount of Irony: Priceless

Maggie Taberer Naked

At work I made a reference to this woman...

Maggie Tabberer, the famous Australian fashion model/magazine editor of a certain age with a full figure and a penchant for hats and slick back hair.

In response to my reference to Maggie a young heterosexual female colleague, nicknamed KittySlap, responded far too eagerly with,

"I would love to see Maggie Tabberer naked!"

I am fairly confident that KittySlap was suggesting that Maggie's true figure is camouflaged well through her sleek stylish clothing...

The desire to see Maggie T naked is something that could only be heard expressed in a retirement village, if at all...

Below I have posted a picture of Maggie the way she might like to be remembered.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maggie_Tabberer