Caption Competition # 3 Winner

Thanks to all who entered. Especially those who gave their name unconditionally...

It was difficult to select a winner. Special mentions must go to these captions;

"May the farce be with you" (*** aka Maja )

"Behind the mask, Fr Gary Smith was still cursing the incompetence of his drycleaner" (Ramreader)

"ATSIC reveal their new, user-friendly CENSUS results" (Josh vk)

but the winner of the kudos is Luke for his caption

"Episode VII: The Papal Menace"

Ugg-boot ram-raider

A 32 year old man from Birmingham, England has been jailed for ram-raiding his car into a supermarket wearing nothing but ugg-boots and a sheet. Ram-raiding in ugg-boots!! And naked to boot! Clearly the man is not sheepish, when it comes to naked burglary at least!

The judge sentenced him to four years behind baaas...

Euphemisms - "You say Potato...I say awesome Root (vegetable)"

In Patrick Marber's play and film Closer there is a clever bit of banter in which journalist Dan explains the euphemisms his newspaper uses in obituaries for public figures:

Dan: At six PM, we stand round the computer and read the next day’s page, make final changes, put in a few euphemisms to amuse ourselves…
Alice: Such as?
Dan: “He was a convivial fellow” - meaning he was an alcoholic. “He valued his privacy” - gay. “He enjoyed his privacy” - raging queen."

Hilarious. Then there are the euphemisms for body parts and functions and sexually activities that amuse the giggling adolescent in us all.

Got any good euphemisms to share? Use the comments box.

Caption Competition # 3

OK. So you know the drill by now... The winner of the BEST CAPTION gets a beverage of their selection gratis. Would be great if you could get your friends to enter too. This week's image of Darth Vader and some other costumed folk is inspired by World Youth Day. Have fun!
Enter via the comments link.

Caption Competition # 2 Winner

There may not be feasting but there shall be drinking in the village tonight for Lauren has won this week's Caption Competition. Her winning caption appears below. Once again thanks to everyone who contributed and provided much merriment. Look out for the next Caption Competition!

Still high from the thrill of the hunt, Headbanger, Toecutter and Slash return
victorious with their kill. There will be feasting in the village
tonight.

The Devil In-stride - When religious traditions are INXS

In a previous post I wrote about how a comment taken out of context could appear offensive, disturbing or obscure but when put into context the comment is reasonable and you can happily still be friends with the person who uttered it. To whit, a friend holidaying in Spain ended a conversation earlier this year with the statement, "I must go David - the Devil is about to start jumping over the babies and I want to watch."

Gosh I thought? Is it really baby-jumping time already?

But I digress. The event, which began in 1621, is known as El Salto del Colacho and takes place in Castillo de Murcia in Spain to celebrate the Catholic feast of Corpus Christi. Babies born during the previous year are dressed in their best clothes and laid on mattresses in the streets. Crowds of people watch as the Devil, El Colacho, dressed in a bright red and yellow costume jumps over a series of baby-topped-mattresses. Should the Devil avoid an unfortunate landing the children are magically protected from illness, but seemingly not protected from illogical religious practices...

Even with the benefit of context the event (and frankly my friend's enthusiasm) is still disconcerting. I am not sure if I follow the traditional logic that to protect your child you instruct someone to endanger their life. Hmmm. I wonder what other dangerous activities were considered and rejected in favour of the annual baby steeplechase. Perhaps this...

Throwing babies off a tower for luck in India - Do they have an adult version? Might be fun :)

Caption Competition #2

The Caption Competition returns due to popular demand.

This photo was taken during a charity toy run in Austria.

Add your Caption via the comments tab below. Prize is the usual drink of your choice and the respect of your peers. If you get one of your friends to enter and your Caption is selected as the best then I really think you deserve more than one drink.

Competition ends soon.

That's Mr Homosexual to you!

The American Family Association has reportedly replaced the word 'gay' with 'homosexual' in all its documentation including online material. Unfortunately their attempt to reclaim the word 'gay' through the magic of auto-replace led to these blunders in online articles about US athlete Tyson Gay...

"Tyson Homosexual was a blur in blue, sprinting 100 meters faster than anyone ever has." and "Homosexual eases into 100 final at Olympic trials".

which is mildly amusing but nowhere near as giggle-making as,

"It means a lot to me," 25-year-old Homosexual said. "I'm glad my body could do it, because now I know I have it in me."

Yes well it is important to know that you have it in you...

According to unconfirmed reports, in the light of this mishap, plans to auto-replace the word lesbian with muff-diver have been put on hold...

Hopefully the good folk at AFA do not write travel stories about Holland...

All of this nonsense reminds me of this wry Fry and Laurie sketch...

Caption Competition Results and Thanks

Firstly, thank you to all who entered the caption competition. The standard of humour on my blog has certainly been raised as a result of your contributions!

There can be only the one winner and the members of the judging panel, after long and serious contemplation, have decided that the winner of a shoe-box full of kudos and some alcohol is Rob for his Goldfinger inspired caption in honour of that most evil of cat lovers, Auric Goldfinger.

New competitions will be blogged soon.

Here is the picture coupled with the winning caption.

No Mr Bond! I expect you to PRAY!