All the Swinging Voters - Election Beyonce parody

All the swinging voters, all the swinging voters
All the swinging voters, all the swinging voters
All the swinging voters, all the swinging voters
All the swinging voters

Now put your hands up
Up in the booth, I just voted
I’m doing my own little thing
Decided my vote and I’m gonna stick
Cause no other party seduced me

I’m up on Tony, But not on Bob
Why don’t we pay him any attention?
I’ve made my decision, for three more years
Ya can’t be mad at me

Cause if you liked it then you should vote 1 on it
If you liked it then you shoulda voted 1 on it
Don’t be mad once you see the new PM
If you liked it then you shoulda voted 1 on it
Oh, oh, oh

If you liked it then you should have voted 1 on it
If you liked it then you shoulda voted 1 on it
Don’t be mad once you see the new Cabinet
If you liked it then you shoulda voted 1 on it

PM’s got gloss on her lips, de-facto on her hips
He styles her hair, gives it that salon sheen
But leaks are up, Libs are Standing Up
This election is a close run thing.

PM ‘s on a mission, It’s Game On
The real Julia will get your attention
Cause the polls liked her at first, despite that nasal twang
but will that be enough to stop that swing?

Cause if you liked it then you should have voted 1 on it
If you liked it then you shoulda voted 1 on it
Don’t be mad once you see the new Cabinet
If you liked it then you shoulda voted 1 on it

Oh, oh, oh

If you liked it then you should have voted 1 on it
If you liked it then you shoulda voted 1 on it
Don’t be mad once you see the new Cabinet
If you liked it then you shoulda voted 1 on it
Oh, oh, oh

Don’t treat me to soundbites that you think I want to hear!
I’m not that kind of marginal
Your trust is what I prefer, what I deserve

New Tony’s remade, trying to fake me and
a vote for him could mean our destiny, is smuggled budgies and triathlons…
Pull me into your spin, say ‘No Workchoices’ again and again
If you don’t, you’ll be alone
And like Rudd, you’ll be gone

All the swinging voters, all the swinging voters
All the swinging voters, all the swinging voters
All the swinging voters, all the swinging voters
All the swinging voters

Now put your hands up, oh, oh, oh
Cause if you liked it then you should voted 1 on it
If you liked it then you shoulda voted 1 on it
Don’t be mad once you see what you have done
If you liked it then you shoulda voted 1 on it

Oh, oh, oh

If you liked it then you should have voted 1 on it
If you liked it then you shoulda voted 1 on it
Don’t be mad once you see the new Cabinet
If you liked it then you shoulda voted 1 on it

Oh, oh, oh

To steal by giving

Dr Greg Clarke, co-founder of the Centre for Public Christianity, has written an article for News Limited's online discussion board The Punch commending the translation of the Bible into Aboriginal languages.

Surely the last thing most Aborigines need is a white man telling them about a brown man who might be trying to save them.

White man has introduced many things to Aborigines - some good, many bad. Perhaps it is time that we considered learning something from their culture

If we must translate something why not the Harry Potter series or a Kate Grenville or Tim Winton novel and not the judgmental, instructional hell and damnation of the Bible.

Have they not suffered enough!

These words are actioning my mentalisation

Today I received an e-mail inviting me to attend a "dynamic and comprehensive 10 month leadership program incorporating one-on-one coaching, seminars, residentials, external networking opportunities and action learning projects."

Residentials?
Action Learning Projects?

WTF?

What does residentials mean? It is not a word. I hope that it means they will provide me with a house. If so, I would like a house with a pool, tennis court and separate area for an energetic dog. I could use the big yard for all those action learning projects I will have to complete.

And what exactly are action learning projects? That phrase is pointless. It tells me nothing. Are there inaction learning projects? The phrase is ungrammatical and a perfect example of the weasel-words beloved by governments and people-management consultants.

My suspicion is that these phrases are made up by people who have a very poor grasp of English but a very high self-regard. Clearly wankers or, as they would call themselves, personal friction facilitators.

Why Move Forward when you can be Pens and not move?

In the 2010 Federal Election much has been made of Labor's Moving Forward slogan. Perhaps the Coalition's unofficial slogan, befitting their backwards-looking conservatism, is Stand Still. Be Stationary. That could explain why parents can claim for 'stationary' but apparently not pencils and rulers in the Coalition Education Tax Refund policy.


I hope Labor's Moving Forward package includes funding for much needed spelling and proofreading lessons for political staffers.

Song of the Week

Song of the Week time.

We are currently enduring one of the most excruciating periods known to man, that is, an election campaign. Despite being an avowed psephologist I do not like election campaigns; call me nerdy but I just like the statistics on Election night.

I have no desire to turn the television news on or click on news.com.au and view the lies being told, the deep-seated and electorally unpopular ideologies that are being hidden and the truths that are being massaged, stretched and bent to suit the prevailing mood. I just can’t stand reading about all the promises that each side of politics makes during a campaign.

Which brings me to the timely Song of the Week…



Promises Promises
Music by Burt Bacharach lyrics by Hal David
Stage Musical Version Sung by - You’ll never guess! See below!


Lyrics

Promises, promises
I'm all through with promises, promises now
I don't know how I got the nerve to walk out
If I shout, remember I feel free
Now I can look at myself and be proud
I'm laughing out loud

Oh, promises, promises
This is where those promises, promises end
I don't pretend that what was wrong can be right
Every night I sleep now, no more lies
Things that I promised myself fell apart
But I found my heart

Oh, promises, their kind of promises, can just destroy a life
Oh, promises, those kind of promises, take all the joy from life
Oh, promises, promises, my kind of promises
Can lead to joy and hope and love
Yes, love!!

Every night I sleep now, no more lies
Things that I promised myself fell apart
But I found my heart

Oh, promises, their kind of promises can just destroy a life
Oh, promises, those kind of promises take all the joy from life
Oh, promises, promises, my kind of promises
Can lead to joy and hope and love
Yes, love!!


That linked version above is from the 1968 Musical Promises Promises.
But who was singing?? Some clues:

The performer won a Tony for Best Actor in a Musical.

He is best known to Gens X and Y for his 13 year stint on Law and Order.

That’s right – Jerry Orbach. Who knew?