Just like any other tissue, only more so...

I noticed these tissues were advertised as being 'Casablanca Style.' My head hurt contemplating why the advertisers used such a name.



Perhaps the tissues' absorbency is perfect for emotional and inclement airport goodbyes?

Classical Gas or Orchestral Fluff?

Why is that Classical music pieces so often have such benign, dull, G rated titles? It is always Symphony No. this or Symphony No. that. Minuet in G? Sonata, Rhapsodies, Preludes ... Boring!

For once I would like to hear a classical piece with a name like, 'Drug-Fucked in E Minor,'
or 'Sex Bomb Cantata.'

I would even be happy with a lame 'Dad' style jokey name like:

'Full of At-Etude'

'Smack my Brass Up'

'If Ukelele Seek Amy'

'Music School Dropout' (perhaps Grease the musical becomes Grease the Opera...)

Coles for sore arseholes

Do you love Coles? Apparently You'll Love Coles. I know I love Coles' scented clumping cat litter. Without it, gee...well I think my life would be empty... well, at least, far less clumped. Sure I don't even own a cat but the product is so damn good and the marketing so believable I just had to buy some. And don't you just love the random suburbanites pictured on the packaging identified by a generic first name and an inane comment related to the product they are promoting. I am not sure what the selling blurb is for the woman holding the cat above but I think it might be, "Helen spends Saturday nights at home stroking her pussy."

I am looking forward to Coles introducing more personal hygiene products into the You'll Love Coles range. eg condoms. I should imagine the blurb will be "Tom likes his condoms ribbed for extra pleasure." or perhaps "Tom hopes she doesn't have a headache tonight."