The Good Smutaritan

It is always important to make a good impression when you start a new job. Arrive on time, look busy and smile politely to all. Simple rules. Easy to follow. No undue duress endured whatsoever.

It is probably not a good idea to give your bosses the impression that you are something of a sexual pervert...which is what I did on my second day at my new job which I started last week.

The following sorry tale began as I departed work after my second day. People that know me well will suggest that the word 'departed' should be exchanged for 'fled', thus providing a more vivid and accurate representation of my general office-leaving style.

As I achieved what Steve McQueen's character could not do in that famous film I noticed that a female employee from another section had dropped her purse in the foyer. Noticing that she was oblivious to the extraneous nature of her purse in relation to her handbag I picked the purse up from the floor and headed in her direction bleating "Excuse me" loudly and repeatedly. To no avail. Said woman then turned down a corridor. I followed.

It was my first time in this part of the building. I noticed a door slowly closing at the end of the corridor and on the presumption that the woman had gone 'thattaway' I hastened after her. When I reached the door, which had not yet closed, I placed my hand against it to push it open. As I did just that the woman, presumably had just appreciated her purse-less predicament and presumably had also calculated that the crazy guy following her was undoubtedly crazy yet still even more undoubtedly clutching her much valued purse and attempting to return it to her.

I handed her the purse. She smiled and said "thank you so much" and then went back inside the 'room'. I turned to leave and as I did I noticed that the door I had been holding open was the door to the Women's Toilet. Bemused, I turned to leave the corridor, the hinged door slowly closing behind me, only to see my supervisor staring at me, her new not-meant-to-be-in-the-Women's Toilet male employee, standing in front of the Women's Toilet door, seemingly having just exited said Women's Toilet.

I am not sure if there is a word that accurately coveys the cocktail of confusion, disgust and enveloping fear that her face displayed but it would be an ugly, fearsome word and frankly I should not ever like to hear, read or speak it.

So in the mind of my superior I am a pervert.

Just another day at the office.